Online Dating Men - Learn How to Successfully Communicate
Okay...let's agree to disagree. For so many years men and women tried to claim that humans are humans and men and women should be able to communicate on an equal basis. Then the internet came along and the stakes were even higher. Online dating men were now trying to communicate with online dating women. It's as if the world was not complicated enough in the "real" environment and now the cyber-world has been thrown into the pot.
The fact is that men and women think differently and therefore they date differently. It really doesn't matter that they are trying to communicate in the real world of dating or the online world of dating. The differences are going to be evident in the conversations that go astray. So why is he saying that to me???? What the heck does she mean by writing me that message? So do you see what this is all about? Effective communication doesn't have boundaries. Men and women are trying to find common communication grounds on many different levels.
Is There Hope?
If you talk to online dating men, the key question becomes: Is there hope of finding common communication ground? Can the online dating man learn to communicate with online dating women? Or more importantly, can men learn to communicate using the various tools offered through the online dating sites in a way that is effective and maybe even not so "manly".
Yes, there is hope that online dating men can communicate in a way that transmits the right message to women looking for a date or a partner. But to put communication into practice means a person must learn how to communicate AND how to interpret communication. In other words, men may have a way of expressing their emotions, but they also need to know how to interpret the responses to the emotions expressed.
Men using online dating sites are not hesitant to take advantage of the variety of communication tools available. But the language they use with each other is a far cry from the language they need to use on dating sites. Men speak more to the point and women want to express the feelings they are experiencing as they email back a smile. Men will often indulge in a lot of bluster intended to cover up insecurities whereas women will take the burden of the communication upon themselves.
Controlling Talk?
Men will discuss facts and women want to talk about feelings. It is the age-old discussion about who is more left-brain (the "I want to be in control" side of the brain) and who is more right-brain (the "let's talk about it" side of the brain). Scientists say men are clearly more left brain and that spills over into the online dating scene. It is why you find so many men sending online messages on dating sites that lead to women asking, "Exactly what does he mean by that?"
There are some rules men can follow to communicate successfully online.
- Don't play "macho" from the start as if you are a gift to women
- Don't make assumptions about what the women are looking for as members of an online dating service
- Do use all the communication tools including smiles, flirts, chats, message boards, emails, and whatever else is offered
- Do speak honestly and skip the game playing
- Do express interest in the what the other person has to say
- Do ask lots of questions
- Do pay attention to the answers to your questions
Do all of these suggestions sound simple and practical? They are supposed to! Online dating men that learn to successfully communicate have learned to communicate honestly with an awareness of how their comments and assumptions affect their processing of information.
Online dating men have a great advantage over men trying to meet women to date in the real world. They have
time to thoughtfully process information before responding to women who communicate with them. That is probably
one of the biggest advantages men on dating sites can use to their benefit.