Keys to Online Dating Message Success - Part 1 of 2
Online dating message success is a tricky business. Many of the rules that apply to first time romantic communications still apply. For example, be confident, be true to yourself and don't rush things. There are benefits and differences though between the online and the offline space. A lot of the pressure of that first face to face conversation is eliminated. No need to walk up to an unknown stranger out of the blue and say something interesting and clever. Your first online dating message should be the "anti-one liner". Just like anything else we engage in, there are tried and true rules to help your success rate dramatically increase.
Keys to Success: Your First Online Dating Message
Relax: When people are writing their first online dating message they often get very anxious. That same sense of anxiety builds up when you are about to go and talk to your object of attraction for the very first time. You know what I mean. You are at the local pub sitting with a couple of friends and you see her sitting two tables across. It's time to make your move... that feeling. No need for that.
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Remember that you are writing here. It's much like the difference between live and recorded television. You have time to let it sit, re-read, edit, have a friend look at it, get feedback, heck have a national poll on whether it is a good message if you like. So relax. Need to drive your anxiety level down.
Profile and Picture:
Some people when creating their online accounts for different reasons quickly go through their profile construction and don't include a favorable picture. This is a BIG mistake. Think about it, what do you do to select a good match? The only thing guiding you is the profile and the picture! I can't stress enough how important these factors are.
Your picture should be a favorable one. I use this word because there are several factors in picking a picture, not only attractiveness. When you evaluate the pictures you are intending to post you should be able to answer positively to these questions: Do you look you best in the picture? Is it a natural setting for you? Is your overall spirit reflected in the picture? I'll give you an example of what not to do. If you like the outdoors, love dressing in jeans and typically your hair is tussled, do NOT take a studio portrait where you wear a black turtleneck, and have perfectly combed hair. It's just not you!
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The profile should work in sync with the picture to show who you are, what you like, what inspires you, what values you cherish, and the real "must haves". Always keep a positive tone. Don't say "I don't like brunettes" but you might say "I just have a mad passion for blondes". They are both statements that guide the reader, but one is positive and the other just isn't.
Read on for Part 2 of this article where we will examine what key content is required to make your
online dating messages successful.